


I Want to Know Everything (Who I Am and What It's For)

by Archetype_ElectraHeart



Series: Darcy Lewis: VP of the Bucky Barnes Defense Squad [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Darcy loves her taser, Gen, Good with Computers Darcy, Inexplicably Knowledgable Darcy (kind of), Tony Stark Has A Heart, caretaker darcy, mentions of torture etc in regards to the Winter Soldier
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-14
Updated: 2016-07-14
Packaged: 2018-07-21 20:35:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7402969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Archetype_ElectraHeart/pseuds/Archetype_ElectraHeart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Darcy uses her considerable research skills to take care of the Avengers, help take down Hydra, and successfully bring in the Winter Soldier--with JARVIS's help, of course.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Want to Know Everything (Who I Am and What It's For)

**Author's Note:**

> [title from You Can't Outrun 'Em by Jenny Lewis]

When Darcy Lewis was little—ok, when she was a child, because let’s face it, she was still technically little—she asked a lot of questions. 

She wanted an explanation for _everything:_ why couldn’t penguins fly, why did bananas change colors, why did Brian pull her hair at recess every day, why wasn’t she invited to Ellie’s bat mitzvah, why wasn’t _she_ having a bat mitzvah, the list could go on and on. But where other kids grew out of it, Darcy simply changed tactics. She stopped asking other people her questions and instead found the answers for herself: she googled, she asked for a set of encyclopedias for Christmas, she made extensive use of the city library. 

Darcy Lewis asked a lot of questions because she needed answers, and she got very good at finding them.

 

 

And so when she first started her internship with Jane, Darcy was constantly on the knife’s edge of panic. She didn’t understand Jane’s work, she couldn’t find a way _into_ understanding it because astrophysics required layers and layers of knowledge that she just didn’t have. 

But, she soon realized, Jane had no need for another astrophysicist. Jane needed someone to make her sleep and occasionally eat something that wasn’t a pop tart. So Darcy watched a lot of Food Network, especially the episodes about tricking your children in to eating their vegetables, because although Jane was a brilliant scientist, she was stubborn when it came to eating her leafy green veggies. She made Jane smoothies and stir fries and balanced meals to keep her from getting scurvy, and bundled her into bed when she had been awake for too long. Jane also needed somebody to help fix her machines, and the van when it got temperamental, so Darcy checked out some books on electrical and mechanical engineering from the library and watched some YouTube tutorials and shadowed Puente Antiguo’s mechanic for a few days.

 

***

 

After Thor’s whirlwind visit, Darcy checked out all the books on Norse mythology from the library (and nearly burst into tears when she found them in the _fiction_ section because she really did not need to be reminded of how insane her life had suddenly become). 

She then tracked down every source mentioned by conspiracy theorists on the internet regarding SHIELD and checked up on intellectual property laws (and private property laws because her iPod was _still_ in the hands of Super Duper Secret Agent Coulson) because fuck her if any jack-booted thugs were confiscating a damn thing from her or Jane or Erik ever again.

 

(When her iPod was finally mailed back to her after the Battle of New York with clear indications that Coulson had been listening to her playlists and had even added to a few of them she actually did burst into tears.)

 

***

 

When the merry band of astrophysicists moved to London, Darcy took a leave of absence from Culver and her political science degree. She read up on the city, she read up on English history, she took online courses in computer programming. She learned how to drive on the wrong side of the road from the wrong side of the car (although that, admittedly, was a bit more hit or miss because muscle memory is _persistent_ , man).

  

After the thing with the Dark Elves, Darcy took a long, hard look at her transcript and nearly ripped out her hair in frustration because what good was a traditional political science degree in a world where politics on a global scale were becoming irrelevant, and the resources weren't in place for intergalactic diplomacy? Who cared if she had a solid grasp of the economic structures of East Asia or the military-industrial complex in Russia or proper etiquette for greeting dignitaries from another hemisphere when there were eight other realms and a whole lot of unanswered questions?

 

(Darcy’s first ever night terror came after the Destroyer. They became more frequent after the Elves.)

 

But Darcy had been steadily shifting away from her original career path for a few years at that point. Her childhood dream of going to law school and becoming a Supreme Court Justice was just…not cutting it anymore. So she fought to transfer in her online credits until she met the requirements for graduation and she wiped her hands of her undergraduate studies. 

She followed Jane to New York because frankly no one else knew how to fix her machines, and because they were both verging ever-so-slightly on codependence because there were not many people who could handle the kind of emotional baggage that one acquired in the course of two violent extraterrestrial confrontations. And not many people received a personal invitation to move into Stark Tower from Pepper Potts herself (on behalf of Tony Stark), with a state-of-the-art lab included. 

Rent-free living in midtown Manhattan? Hell yes.

 

***

 

Somehow without consciously choosing to do so, Darcy started to include Tony Stark in her care-taking duties—especially when Pepper was out of town. She got JARVIS to shut him out of his labs to sleep as needed, and made sure he ate an actual meal at some point everyday and didn’t just snack. His snacks, at least, were of the extra fancy health-food-store variety and he drank a lot of raw juices, so she could at least be less concerned about his vitamin intake than Jane’s. (Although both of them _had_ to be vitamin D deficient because god only knew the last time they’d been outside and experienced actual sunlight.)

 

Bruce Banner, on the other hand, took prodigiously good care of himself (all part of his strategy for keeping Big Green in check) so she didn’t have to feed him, but she did needle him into teaching her how to make curries and samosas in the common kitchen. She shadowed Tony in his lab, often without him even noticing, and learned more advanced mechanical engineering skills. She chatted with JARVIS about coding and how artificial intelligence was constructed (because JARVIS was the fucking coolest, seriously) and doted on DUM-E and Butterfingers like they were actual pets.

 

She wandered around the Tower with her earbuds in so that she could listen to podcasts and MOOCs on any subject that caught her interest. It was JARVIS who informed her that she could subscribe to any academic journal she wanted and bill Stark Industries for it, citing their “continuing education initiative” for employees. 

Truth be told, it was everything Darcy had loved about school without the exams and the deadlines and the underlying sense of competition. She had no instructors to answer to, she had no classmates to worry about—in fact, nobody but JARVIS even seemed aware of the extent of Darcy’s intellectual curiosity. Bruce seemingly assumed that her interest in foreign cultures stemmed from her political science background, and seemed happy enough to talk about his travels and teach her how to cook his favorite dishes. If she also asked him for a lesson in first aid, well, she did work in a lab where things occasionally exploded, and it was a practical skill to have anyway. Tony seemed only dimly aware of her presence 85% of the time, answering her questions absentmindedly and asking her to pass him tools on occasion.

 

 

When the other Avengers began to trickle into the Tower residences, Darcy continued the pattern. She picked up on languages and yoga from Natasha. Clint, as much as she loved him, was pretty much the definition of Hot Mess when he didn’t have a bow in hand, but she got him to teach her how to pick locks and (theoretically) fly a plane using the SHIELD-approved flight simulator. She saw relatively little of Steve, who still seemed a bit uncomfortable in the ultra-modern labs and communal floors and moved to DC not too long after his arrival.

 

She did research on grief and loss for Thor, who was so sensitive to the chaos his brother had wrought on everyone else (but especially Erik and Clint) that he seemed determined never to bring Loki up at all. Darcy declared herself Switzerland in the matter and coaxed Thor into telling her all the stories—good and bad—that haunted him, and tried to help him work past the guilt he felt over Loki’s path of destruction.

 

Darcy slowly insinuated her way into the lives of nearly everyone in the tower in some capacity, largely without any of them noticing.

Which was exactly the way she liked it. 

 

*** 

 

The events of DC changed everything. 

Captain America being declared a fugitive was enough to get Darcy glued in front of the TV with a bevy of screens around to keep apprised of the chaos (she may or may not have appropriated several StarkPads from various spots in the tower to keep several news feeds playing simultaneously).

But the news that SHIELD was— in large part—Hydra sent the entire world into a frenzy. 

Darcy felt slightly redeemed for spending all those hours researching how to make certain that SHIELD could never confiscate Jane’s research, though. Not that she ever would have guessed they were secret Nazis, but Darcy Lewis had learned that government bureaucracies were only as strong as the people who staffed them and could be flawed and corrupted too easily for comfort. It had just never hit quite so close to home before.

 

And of course the hits just kept coming: Nick Fury was “dead” (Darcy didn’t believe that one for a second, he was Mother _fucking_ Nick Fury), James Buchanan “Bucky” Barnes was not actually dead but alive and fighting as the Winter Soldier on behalf of Hydra. The Winter Soldier nearly killed Captain America, but then fished him out of the Potomac so he didn't really want him dead (maybe?). Steve was in the hospital with his new best friend Sam Wilson (who could  _fly_ ), and Natasha was on the run since all her covers were blown, with Clint only a few hours behind.

(Darcy had helped Clint pack up and had very politely not commented on the number of knives secreted in his duffel bag.)

 

 

But once she had seen Clint safely off to parts unknown, the data-dump sent Darcy headlong down a rabbit hole. 

JARVIS had downloaded everything to secure servers as it was released, but there were millions of files to sort through. Darcy had JARVIS comb the files for addresses and coordinates that didn’t correspond to known SHIELD locations and then sorted through that list herself in an attempt to identify possible Hydra bases. She plotted them on a paper map using thumbtacks (Tony would be horrified if he found out she was going so low-tech). She combed through related files to try and figure out whether each base was likely to be manned or unmanned and what each one might house, and put together what could only be described as a “hit list.”

 

By the time Steve was released from the hospital, Darcy had already moved on to looking for anything and everything on the Winter Soldier. 

She and JARVIS had managed to put together a patchy timeline of the past 70 years, and she realized rather quickly that Bucky had spent the majority of it in cryogenic chambers—frozen just like Steve. Darcy had tallied the number of times the "Asset" had seen a technician to be “wiped” and/or “re-programmed” and had promptly found herself retching over the kitchen sink, pale and shaking.

 

 

By the time Steve returned to Tower with Sam Wilson in tow, already foaming at the mouth to destroy Hydra bases and track down his long-lost friend, Darcy had organized all the information she had gathered into neat files (with considerable help from JARVIS, of course, whom she would buy a million presents if she actually could).

When Tony accused the Winter Soldier of assassinating his parents, and Steve began to argue right back in Bucky’s defense, it was Darcy who stepped in between them and pointed to the timeline that clearly showed that the Winter Soldier had been in a deep-freeze in Minsk when Howard and Maria Stark had their car accident. Up until that moment, everyone had assumed that JARVIS had been solely responsible for the data, but Darcy noticed the evaluating glance from Tony at her close familiarity with the information. She very quickly quieted back down, letting Sam and Steve start planning their offensive.

 

She didn’t want attention or thanks or to deal with the expectations of superheroes and super-spies. She did what she did because it gave her some semblance of control over a situation that was larger than life and completely beyond her, and for once, unlike in Puente Antiguo and London, her skill-set could actually be useful in a meaningful way.

 

And Darcy had made something of a superpower out of being underestimated. It would be a shame to give that up.

 

***

 

While the team (or what remained of it) went rampaging after possible Hydra bases, looking for Bucky Barnes along the way, Darcy continued to comb through the SHIELDra files for information on the Winter Soldier in between her duties as Jane’s lab assistant and Tony’s sometime-babysitter.

 

The Asset (because that was always how the files referred to him) had been sent to a remote training facility in Russia in the mid-1970s. The same facility had turned Natasha Romanov into the Black Widow. (Had he been one of her teachers? Did Natasha remember him? Would he remember her? Was the world really that small? And, more importantly, how old _was_ Natasha?)

 

The Asset had spent a total of 2 years awake since his fall in 1944. The largest chunk of his awake-time came right after his capture, when he was kept unfrozen for medical treatment, bionic fittings, training, and conditioning. After the fall of 1946, he was never left awake for a period longer than two weeks. He was only a few years older than Darcy.

 

The Asset was wiped in between every mission. He was wiped before every freeze. There were notes in some of the files which seemed to indicate that he was also wiped on a rare additional as-needed basis for remembering things he shouldn’t. (Was he remembering Steve? Remembering who he was before Hydra? Would he remember more and more on his own as long he was out from under their thumb and couldn’t be reset?) Some of the early notes speculated that the program had erred in giving Barnes the serum _before_ his first wipe—that the serum had created a brain better able to heal itself and rebuild neural pathways. The scientists speculated that he was more likely to recover those memories acquired prior to his first wipe, meaning his memories from his time as the Winter Soldier might never be fully recoverable since they were wiped so quickly after being created. 

Darcy wondered if that was what people had in mind when they talked about silver linings. Darcy also started reading up on basic neuroscience.

 

The Asset had set foot on US soil only 14 times since World War II. (That afternoon, Darcy very sincerely thanked Tony for giving her such a wonderful place to live and got to watch him blush and stutter before throwing a blueberry at her head for being a sap.)

 

The Asset's metal arm had been updated fairly regularly over the years, with the last update occurring three years previously. There was a tracker embedded in the arm, along with two other failsafes—a capsule of poison and an EMP. Darcy promptly instructed JARVIS to pass that information along to Steve and Co. 

Fourteen hours later, JARVIS assured her that the tracker had been disabled (by Bucky himself?) and that no one, including Hydra, would be able to use it to find him. He could make no such assurances regarding the poison or EMP, which could only be triggered by someone with the proper codes within 500 feet of the arm. Despite her best attempts, she couldn't find a file identifying the poison, but had J compile a list of poisons used by Hydra at the time the capsule was installed and ordered antidotes for the most likely suspects to be delivered to the Tower just in case.

 

Darcy had trouble figuring out what exactly the Winter Soldier’s "programming" entailed, as The Asset underwent different procedures than Hydra’s normal assets-with-a-lowercase-a, and there wasn’t an actual manual stored on their servers. Some things appeared to be givens: assets could not question orders, assets must carry out objectives accurately and efficiently, assets must be mission-ready at any time, could not have substance abuse problems, and must obey the number one rule of Fight Club. (Darcy spent several hours being a contrary pain in the ass just to relish in her own personal freedoms. The only consequence was Tony throwing a strawberry at her—which she caught in her mouth—and Jane sighing loudly before suggesting they stop work for the day and go out for margaritas.)

But really, one megalomaniac was very much like another, so Darcy branched out beyond the leaked files and read about child-soldiers, about brainwashing, about conditioning. She read about Stockholm syndrome (unlikely in this event, since it seemed the Asset was taking out the occasional Hydra base all on his own, if Steve’s hunches proved correct, but Darcy was nothing if not thorough). She read up on PTSD. She read up on psychological symptoms particular to amputees. She ordered _a lot_ of books and academic journals to her apartment in the Tower.

 

 

She fought the darkness she was inviting into her life in any way she could think of. She demanded more hugs than normal from Thor and went to the pet shop a few subway stops away to play with puppies and guinea pigs. She watched a lot of YouTube videos of cats. She baked (a lot). She spent more time in the calm of Bruce’s lab and less around the explosions in Tony's. She started alternating her cups of (very strong, Tony Stark approved) coffee with herbal teas. She did yoga regularly and spent more time on the cool down and breathing exercises than previously. She let herself have a good cry when it all felt like too much, but she also celebrated every victory that the team reported back from their anti-Hydra initiative. She was more demonstrably affectionate with Jane and more good-natured when Tony was grossly inappropriate (meaning she only threw objects unlikely to give him a concussion now).

 

Thor—the other champion of getting people to underestimate him—noticed the shift. He noticed that her facial expression when she was reading on her tablet was more serious, that sometimes she paled and put it down and went off to make a cup of tea when it all got too horrible.

On one such occasion, Thor followed her into the kitchen, concerned. “Darcy, I wish that you would tell me what it is that troubles you so.”

She sighed and turned to put the kettle on the stove. “Do you want a cup of tea?”

Thor nodded and sat down on a stool at the breakfast bar, clearly allowing Darcy a moment to collect herself.

Darcy pulled mugs and the appropriate teas out of the cabinets, keeping her hands busy until she had run out of stalling techniques and turned to face Thor. “It’s about Bucky Barnes. Or the Winter Soldier, I guess, if I’m going to be more specific. I don’t….I’m not…” She groaned and wandered over to lean against Thor’s side, pressing her face to his shoulder and inhaling the comforting sharp ozone scent he carried. “Everyone else is so focused on getting him back that they aren’t thinking about what happened to him during his time as a POW or how he’s going to react to all this.” She flailed her arms around to indicate the Tower and the world outside. “And I’m a civilian, you know? So I don’t have much experience with war, or PTSD, and I’m doing that thing that I do where I try to learn everything and research every possible outcome so that I don’t feel quite so helpless but…there’s a lot. And it’s all very upsetting and there is very little that I can do and there’s no real indication that he even wants to come in and if he _doesn’t_ then Steve is going to make that kicked-puppy face that he does and UGH. I don’t like it.”

Thor’s (very large and very muscular) arms wrapped around her in a firm hug before he pulled back to look her in the eye. “You have a most generous and caring heart, Darcy. It is why you have been such a good and loyal friend to my Jane. But you must remember that even the smallest kindnesses are worthwhile. I have no doubt that should Steven’s shield-brother return to us, that your efforts will be beneficial to his recovery. It is good of you to worry over him on behalf of a comrade.”

Darcy managed a slightly tremulous smile before she moved back to take the kettle off the hot burner where it had just started to whistle.

“Does Steven know how much work you put into his mission? It was also you who compiled the list of enemy bases, was it not?”

Darcy shook her head and passed Thor his mug of Raspberry Zinger. “No one but JARVIS knows. And you, apparently. Tony probably suspects." She shrugged. "I just wanted to be useful. I mean the Avengers are missing a few team members, and Hydra has that whole infinitely multiplying head thing, and even I can sort through data."

Thor shook his head fondly. “You are far too modest, my little lightning sister. Your work has been a great help to Steven and Samuel on their mission.” He noted her blush and that her shoulders were hunching up towards her ears and decided a distraction was in order. “Actually, I was wondering if you could help me with something. I believe that Tony made mention of a labyrinth that I should see?”

“Not a labyrinth, my fantastically muscly god-friend! _The_ Labyrinth. The 1984 David Bowie cult classic film with puppets by Jim Henson and—words are insufficient to communicate the wonder. Come along, bring your tea; we are watching it right now.”  Thor smiled easily as Darcy began shoving him in the direction of the couch.  “This is a travesty, I cannot believe that I have failed your pop-culture education so spectacularly as to miss introducing you to the wonders of Labyrinth and David Bowie in ridiculous tights.”

 

 

***

 

 

"Lewis."

Tony was standing in the kitchen with an armful of books. Which was weird because the man was practically allergic to paper and he never…

"There must have been some kind of mix-up, because your Amazon order was sent to me, and really, Lewis, I was hoping for something a little more scintillating than psychology books and back-issues of the American Journal of Neuroscience."

Darcy put on her best disapproving glare and crossed her arms. "Cut the crap, Tony. You and I both know that J would not make a mistake like that, which means that you used your override code to steal my mail. Which is a federal offense, by the way. Mail tampering."

"Only if I tampered with the mail while it was still in the metaphorical hands of the postal service, but I waited until it was in _my_ building's mailroom, which is staffed by _my_ employees. So there. I’m innocent.”

“Tony. I _will_ tell Pepper."

Tony nearly dropped the books as his shoulders slumped in comic defeat. Darcy had never met a grown man who pouted as much Tony Stark. “Aw, come on. Don't tell Pep. I was just making sure you were okay!"

“Tony, remember how we talked about the importance of using your words instead of doing weird megalomaniac billionaire things? This was one of those times.”

"Says the intern who has been appropriating my AI for help with compiling intel on the Winter Soldier without telling anyone.”

“What.” (Wow, Darcy, way to deflect, very eloquent, he’ll never suspect you now.)

“JARVIS is awesome, okay, I know because I made him. But JARVIS wouldn’t compile _that_ information in _that_ way without someone telling him to, and this whole bleeding-heart operation has your grubby fingerprints all over it, Lewis.”

Darcy fought the blush rising in her cheeks and angrily pushed her glasses up her nose (the _most obvious_ nervous tic, honestly, this was why she never played poker). "So?"

Tony dumped her books on the counter and walked up to her with a troublingly sincere expression on his face. “Look, you did good, kid. Why you felt the need to fly solo with only a computer program as back-up, I don't know, but I'm hardly in a position to judge. As long as this doesn't go past intel. You start trying to go on black-ops missions with J as your back-up and _I'm_ telling Pepper and having JARVIS put you under house arrest. You may be his new favorite, but I am still his creator, and he will do what I say.”

Darcy smiled and raised a hand in salute. "Scout's honor, I will not take my considerable research skills out into the field but will leave such nonsense to the rest of you crazies."

Tony nodded. “And I'll tell the mailroom to stop diverting your packages to me. Although seriously, why so many dead trees? Don't they have ebooks on Stockholm syndrome?"

Darcy started pushing Tony out of the kitchen. ”Goodbye, Tony."

"Lewis, I'm serious this cannot be the most recent-"

"I said 'goodbye, Tony.’”

 

 

***

 

 

The Winter Soldier surrendered himself 10 months after the events of DC.

 

Frankly, “surrendered” was probably an overly generous term. 

During a raid on a Hydra safehouse, the Asset’s poison failsafe was activated, leaving him vulnerable. In a matter of coincidence (?), Sam and Steve, with Thor as back-up, were headed to the same location and so happened upon the Winter Soldier in need (and a safe house full of dead people, because apparently vengeance stops for _no_ poison). The Winter Soldier/Asset/Bucky Barnes agreed to come in for treatment. 

 

Which was basically all that Darcy had to go on when Steve’s call came into Tony’s lab. The Winter Soldier was headed to New York (Thor was flying him in, because aliens are way faster than humans even when they do have mechanical wings, sorry Sam). The Winter Soldier had been poisoned and was “not feeling well” (wow, thanks for that detailed field report, Captain Rogers, what would we do without you). The Winter Soldier had agreed to medical attention from Steve’s friends and teammates, but no one else. 

(Well, Steve was referring to him as Bucky, but you get the gist.)

 

“Wait, wait, wait.” For a genius, Tony Stark was remarkably slow on the uptake today. “ _What_ is wrong with the Russian assassin? He’s been poisoned? By his _arm_?”

Long-Suffering Steve’s voice came over the intercom. _“Yes, Tony. A Hydra agent activated the failsafe in Buck’s arm, releasing some kind of poison into his system. JARVIS sent us the schematics ages ago.”_

That earned Darcy a sharp look from Tony. She edged behind Butterfingers in case he planned to launch any edible projectiles.

“If he’s been poisoned, then why isn’t he dead? Wouldn’t that be the point of the failsafe?”

Darcy coughed to get Tony’s attention (wow, way to be subtle), and quietly explained, “Actually, J and I think that the super serum made that nearly impossible—with the amount of poison the capsule could contain and rate of dispersal in someone of that size with a serum-enhanced metabolism, his body would be able to counteract any toxin well enough to prevent death, it would just take some time. So the poison was most likely intended to weaken and disorient him long enough for someone to finish the job manually. With a weapon, I mean.”

Steve’s voice came back over the lab speakers, confused. _“Who is that? Is Natasha there?”_

“No, that’s Lewis. What else did you and JARVIS determine regarding this mysterious poison? You know what it is?”

Darcy shook her head. “There is no indication in the files, but J ordered antidotes to all of Hydra’s favorite toxins and they’re in storage in the pharmacy downstairs. The one attached to the company’s urgent care facility. Just in case. I mean, there’s a _chance_ that Hydra created a custom cocktail, but if not, we’re prepared.”

Tony nodded. “JARVIS, get Bruce in here, we’ll need him to run diagnostics. And have all the antidotes sent up.”

“ _Right away, sir.”_

“Cap, who exactly is Point Break bringing back to my Tower? Like, are we getting your long-lost childhood friend or the brainwashed assassin who tried to kill you and all your other friends?”

_“I’m not sure, Tony. I didn’t get to talk to him all that much before I had to send him off with Thor. But he knew who I was; he knew my name.”_

Awww, sad-Steve sounded like someone had stolen his puppy…which may not have been a totally outlandish metaphor, actually.

Tony rolled his eyes. “Great. Awesome, that _must_ mean he’s totally cured and reformed and not that he’s learned how to read a newspaper since he was last defrosted. I’ll just alert security. It’s no big deal, really.”

_ “Sam and I are on our way back, Tony; we’ll be there as soon as we can.” _

“Well, that’s that then, all my troubles are gone. Why was I even worried in the first place? It’s not like he’s dangerous or like I have a building full of civilian employees.” Tony gestured over at Darcy. “Like Lewis! Lewis can’t defend herself.”

“Um, excuse you, I am the only person on this planet to have taken down Thor, thank you very much.”

“You tased him while he was vulnerable, it would never work now.”

“Says you.”

“Says SCIENCE, Lewis, we both know I’m right.”

Steve’s voice broke in. _“Tony, would you stop your bickering? If you’re so worried about Buck, then shouldn’t you be coordinating with JARVIS and building security?”_

“He has a point, you know,” Darcy acknowledged.

“Shut up, Lewis. Captain Tightpants doesn’t need your help. Whose side are you on, anyway?”

“The side where James Buchanan Barnes gets the most humane treatment for his injuries that is also least likely to trigger an episode.”

“God, I hate when you get all sincere on me. You got some ideas on how to do that?”

Darcy shrugged. “I’ve done a little research.”

“Well then, Cap, it’s been lovely, but unless you have anything useful to add to the conversation, Lewis and I have some logistics to coordinate on our end. You just call back if you think of anything. J can patch you through.”

_ “What? Tony, he’s my friend, you can’t just—“ _

“Toodles!”

 

Darcy blinked. “Did you just hang up on Captain America?”

Tony was already rolling across the lab on his stool towards her. “I mean look, he’s pretty enough to look at, but he gets in the way with all his planning and his leadership and his practicality and his insistence on ‘running things by him.’ _You_ are my expert on all things brainwashed supersoldier. _I_ am the expert on this Tower. He’s just going to get in the way, and ET is going to arrive with his package in way less time than if they’d flown commercial, so let’s get this show on the road.”

“Well, we’re gonna need Bruce.”

“Um, yeah. Does someone want to tell me what’s going on and why JARVIS sent me to pick up poison antidotes from the pharmacy ‘posthaste’?” Bruce was standing in the door to Tony’s lab, hair disheveled and brows furrowed.

Tony shot off of his stool and explained, “Brucie! You know all those times you told us that you weren’t a medical doctor? This is going to be another one of those times where we ignore you.”

 

***

 

Darcy was stressed. 

Because for all her research she didn’t really actually _know_ how to deal with a traumatized, brain-washed assassin on a good day. And this was not a good day.

 

She insisted that Barnes be treated in Bruce’s lab, because it was both sterile and secure, but also the least likely to remind Barnes of a Hydra lab. Fewer machines. Also, a lot of bonsai trees, which Darcy was _pretty sure_ the Hydra goons would not have bothered with at their facilities.

 

She insisted that they not use a chair with arms, and that they not use any kind of restraints. And that they avoid using sharp objects unless absolutely necessary. And they maintain a clear path to the door at all times. No one was to stand outside of the Soldier’s eyeline, and they were absolutely not supposed to stand behind him at any point in time, ever.

 

No one was to refer to him as the Asset. No one was to use the words “protocol” or “wipe” or “malfunction” or “freeze.” They were to narrate every step of Barnes’ treatment to him before touching him, and if he objected to anything they would stop and try to find an alternate solution.

 

They were to do absolutely nothing without his consent. 

 

“I mean it, science cowboys. No means no, stop means stop, and if we have a problem I _will_ taze you.”

Bruce grimaced. “That would probably not be a great idea, all things considered.”

Darcy rolled her eyes. “Okay, so I’ll taze Tony and come up with a suitable punishment for the good Doctor that won’t trigger a Code Green.”

Bruce’s expression softened. “Darcy, I would never—you don’t need to worry, ok? I’ll take good care of him.”

Darcy slumped back against the lab bench and sighed. “I know. I trust you guys, really. But I’m the one who read those files, you know? And all I really want to do is wrap the poor guy in up blankets with a mug of hot chocolate and feed him. And buy him a puppy. Or a kitten, I’m not picky.”

Tony stared at her and asked, “Uh, Lewis, you do realize that we’re talking about a full-grown man who can kill people with his pinkie and not a small child, right?”

“Don’t test me, Tony. It’s been ages since I got to taze someone and my trigger finger’s getting itchy.”

“ _Ahem, if I may intrude, it would appear that Prince Thor has just landed on the roof with Sergeant Barnes. Shall I send them in?_ ”

 

***

 

Darcy was allowed to remain in the lab only so long as she stayed next to Thor and several arm-lengths away from Barnes at all times. It was the only ultimatum that Tony issued. (He implied that any attempts to make her leave would be futile, which was accurate.) She agreed as gracefully as she could manage.

 

She had never seen anyone sit that still on a wheeled stool, even though he was clearly in pain. The Soldier was tense, coiled, eyes wide and tracking Bruce’s every move. 

He had seemed confused by Bruce at first—that he was talking to him, that he was asking him if things were alright before he did them, that he wouldn’t do anything until Barnes at least nodded his agreement. 

 

Darcy slowly relaxed. She had made the right choice. Bruce’s voice was low and soothing, his touch gentle but steady. She had noted the moment that Barnes’s eyes caught on the bonsai trees, and on her polka dotted tights, and on the colorful post-it notes plastered on various cabinets (also Darcy’s work) and loosened ever so slightly for a moment. She had done everything she could to imply that they were nothing like Hydra without bringing up anything directly that might trigger an episode.

 

She relaxed into Thor’s side when Banner identified the poison as one that she and JARVIS had prepared for and watched as Barnes stopped clenching his teeth quite so badly when the antidote began to take effect.

 

Once he seemed relaxed enough to possibly be verbal (he hadn’t actually said a single word so far), Darcy introduced herself from under Thor’s arm. “Hi there, I’m Darcy Lewis. And this here is Thor. What should we call you?”

He looked up at her from the stool, a slight furrow in his brow, as though he couldn’t understand why she was asking. “I’m the Asset.”

Darcy ignored the little part of herself that wanted to punch something and gently shook her head. “Not anymore. That was your title within your former organization, but we don’t use that title here. Steve told us that you used to be called Bucky, but your full name was James Buchanan Barnes.”

“No. I’m not—not Bucky. Not anymore.”

Oh God, Steve was gonna make the _saddest_ puppy face when he heard about this and it was gonna suck. “Would you like for us to call you James?”

After a moment’s hesitation he nodded. “James.”

“It’s nice to meet you, James. The man who treated you is Bruce Banner, and the annoying guy in the corner is Tony Stark.”

“I am not annoying! I haven’t even said anything for ten minutes, at least.”

“See what I mean? He always argues with me.” Darcy winked at James, who looked more confused than amused. 

Which was totally fine, it had probably been a while since he’d been exposed to teasing banter. Which was…depressing. 

“Anyways, Tony really needs to get back to work.” She shot him a sharp look when he looked like he was about to argue. They needed to make sure they didn’t overwhelm James, and Tony could be a lot to deal with for non-traumatized average humans, including Darcy.

Tony threw his hands up. “Yeah, sure, I’ll go let DUM-E spray me with the fire extinguisher again for kicks. Toodles.”

 

***

 

Steve and Sam came directly to Bruce’s lab from the roof. Darcy didn’t want to imply that Steve was a little high-strung about the whole thing, but the man was…definitely high-strung. Not without good reason, obviously, but dude needed to chill the fuck out because that kind of energy wasn’t doing anyone any favors. Bless Sam Wilson, really, who was the chillest man in existence (aside from Bruce when he was not the Other Guy).

Steve and Sam explained to James that he could stay at the Tower. That he would be safe here, that they could help him recover his old memories. Darcy smiled supportively from the corner where she was still huddled against Thor.

 

She and Pepper had arranged a room for James (just in case) right next to Steve’s, with all the finishing touches. (Guidelines: nothing made before 1950; nothing industrial; jersey sheets so he would be able to tell by touch the minute he woke up from a night terror that he was in a new place; open sightlines to make him feel more secure; used books that Darcy had bought by the bag from the Strand, along with a turntable and an eclectic selection of vinyl.)

 

Everything was going to be all right.

Eventually.

 

 

***

 

 

Darcy may have spoken too soon.

 

But she was definitely right about Steve being too high-strung.

 

He had settled James into his new room, and then swanned into the common area to proclaim that he didn’t think it was a good idea for civilians or un-enhanced individuals (i.e. Darcy Lewis because nobody else in the room fit _that_ description) to be around him for awhile. Until they could be sure he was fully deprogrammed.

“I don’t think that’s a very good idea.”

Cue the team looking at Darcy with varied expressions of confusion (Sam), amused disbelief (Tony), curiosity (Thor), and annoyance (Steve).

And Steve was _clearly_ donning his Captain persona today. “Miss Lewis, I really do not think that decision is up to you.”

“Captain Rogers, James was just brought into an unfamiliar environment filled with unfamiliar people, some of whom he was trying to kill 10 months ago. By restricting who he is allowed to interact with and implying that you don’t trust him, you’re verging on treating him like a prisoner. Furthermore, by ensuring that the only people he interacts with are those you deem capable of—what? neutralizing him? subduing him?—you’re going to constantly surround him with the people that he is most likely to view as physical threats, thus creating a self-fulfilling prophecy in which you’re going to trigger a violent episode. And it won’t be his fault.” 

Sam pushed up off the couch and stood in front of Steve. “Before you say something that _I_ am going to regret later, the lady has a point.”

“Buck’s my friend, Sam, and I love him, but he is dangerous right now.”

Darcy snorted. “You’re all dangerous. You’re all trained killers. That doesn’t mean that any of you—including James—are naturally vicious, or that I am going to go about my day terrified of the people I live with. And frankly, despite what you think, I know more about what that man has done and had done to him than anyone else in this room. So don’t treat me like a child.”

“Hold on a minute—“ Steve waved Sam off before he could shush him. “What do you mean you may know more than the rest of us?”

Tony piped up from where he was reclined on the couch. “Because Lewis here is the one who put together your Hydra hit list, and all of the informational tidbits on the Tin Man. And she’s the reason we had the antidote on hand for the failsafe. And she helped Pep organize his room. Not to mention the fact that she’s put in an expense report for over $600 worth of books and journals dealing with PTSD and psychological conditioning. I’m pretty sure she even read them.”

Darcy let out an indignant squeak before she could stop herself. “JARVIS told me to expense those! And you agreed! And of _course_ I read them—well most of them, I haven’t finished yet because I had to fix Jane’s dinglehopper this week.”

Sam raised a single perfect eyebrow. “Dinglehopper?”

“It’s this machine that has a proper scientific-sounding name that is like fifteen syllables long but only Jane and Erik know it. It has something to do with tracking the correlation between gravitational fields and brightness in stars or something, I don’t know.”

Steve tried to bring the room to order. “Can we focus? I thought JARVIS was putting together all that information.”

“Cap, I know that ordinary computers are still something of a novelty to you, but even as an AI JARVIS can’t just _do_ stuff like that. Somebody has to direct him. Lewis has been the one putting in requests and adding the necessary touch of human interpretation as needed.”

Steve turned his focus to Darcy. “Is that true?”

“Yes, I worked with JARVIS to comb the leaked files for information on James and I did research into topics I thought might be useful for transitioning him into life here in the Tower.”

Sam spoke back up: “Alright, you know what, how about Darcy and I have a chat while you go help James get settled in, Steve. And the rest of you can go back to doing…whatever it is you people do.”

 

***

 

Sam Wilson deserved his wings. The man was an actual angel. 

But sarcastic.

A beautiful, sarcastic angel with really impressive shoulders.

 

“I’m sorry about Steve, man. Sometimes he gets a little—commanding. He’s used to being the leader of a team, and he’s used to those people following his orders.”

Darcy plopped down into the armchair next to his and rolled her eyes. “Well, if you’re our self-appointed mediator you might want to inform him that I don’t really respond well to orders.”

“I noticed.”

“So what now? Is the purpose of this little meeting to tell me that you actually agree with Steve but admire me for putting up a fight, or are you the one who’s going to take me seriously and serve as my character reference?”

“I’m going to take it as a compliment that either way you’re assuming my intentions are good and not dismissive.”

“You can do that. But that wasn’t actually an answer.”

“Can I ask you a few questions first?”

“Provided you aren’t about to produce any sharp implements or restraints, by all means.”

“You were the one who discovered the failsafes in Bucky’s arm?”

“Yes. And I worked with JARVIS to order the antidotes to the most likely poisons in the proper doses. And he requested that we call him James, before you and Steve arrived.”

Sam nodded. “I’ll be sure to honor that. What else did you research?”

“I reconstructed as much of the past 70 years as I could, tried to figure out Hydra’s conditioning techniques, and the mind-wiping technology. Basically, JARVIS and I combed the leaked files for anything that seemed related to the Winter Soldier. Then I branched out and did background research on psychological conditioning and PTSD.”

“Sounds thorough.”

“I don’t half-ass things.”

“You aren’t worried about James having a flashback and turning violent?”

“The overwhelming likelihood is that flashbacks will render him non-responsive, not violent. I’d worry about night terrors, but since we’re not at the bed-sharing stage just yet, I think I’ll be fine. But then, you should already know that given all your work at the VA treating veterans with PTSD.”

Sam smirked. “Okay, I get the point. You read my file.”

“Wilson, I read every pertinent piece of information from Natasha’s data dump, including the personnel files for everyone involved in the Avengers Initiative and the creation and handling of the Winter Soldier. Like I said, I’m very thorough.”

“Why?”

Darcy settled deeper into the chair. “I was a political science major, I’ve always been politically active. The information was directly relevant to the safety of myself and people I consider to be my friends. I have a considerable amount of free time available to me since I no longer need to fill out applications for federal grants and Jane has more interns than just me. I’m not a member of this team, and normally I’m not a whole lot of help, but one thing that I am good at is research and since everybody else was busy fighting Hydra I figured JARVIS and I could look for information that might be useful. And my bleeding heart is notorious, so it stands to reason that without any broken-winged birds to rescue I would latch onto a forcibly imprisoned amputee cyborg assassin guy with amnesia.”

“Do you often use humor as a coping mechanism?”

“It’s my modus operandi, Bird Boy. Jokes and junk food. And cat videos.”

Sam nodded, a smile slowly spreading across his face. “Darcy, I think you’ll do just fine.”

She cocked her head. “You’re saying that because you think I’ll balance out Steve, aren’t you? I get to be good cop to his bad cop. The fun aunt to his stick-in-the-mud dad routine.”

“I never said that. So you can’t tell him that I said that. But I am not _denying_ it, you feel me?”

“Well done, you. That was masterfully done. You’re already learning how talk around the Big Brother AI surveillance system so that there’s no incriminating evidence.”

“Well, I was in the military under DADT.”

 

For real: a beautiful, sarcastic angel with really impressive shoulders.

**Author's Note:**

> [photoset on tumblr is here!](https://pepperpottsblogs.tumblr.com/post/147401724415/i-want-to-know-everything-who-i-am-and-what-its)


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